Yes, my brain is a fucking shit. No, it doesn’t give me a rest. But it also doesn’t give anyone else a rest, so I have to set boundaries, so I have to limit what I say and when, and I feel like I’m going to fucking break apart because….because christmas is important, because I’m alone again, because the wolves worked to give me 36 hours clear of Beth and episodes, and instead I’m sitting alone in my room aware that no one wants to talk to me cos everyone needs a fucking break so even when I’ve done everything I can to make myself as low maintenance as possible…I’m still…unwanted.

I know, I’m not. I know, that’s BS, but…it doesn’t feel like it. There’s no Beth, no creatures, no voices telling me that. Just…my own stupid brain.

And it hurts. But I can’t tell you, because then you’ll have to deal with me.
But…it hurts.