Alice

It’s been a hot minute, wanted to update everyone.
We have a girlfriend called Kat, she’s dating at least 10 of us at the moment, and has made such a difference. She’s understanding, kind, patient, and actually worked to understand how we work, and why we act the way we do, so that she could explain it to us, cos we were in the dark about our own feelings before, we didn’t really realise why we were acting the way we would, or what made us upset, or why we got so distressed. She’s been so healthy for us, and so good, and shiny, and awesome, and we absolutely love her. We’ve been here before yes, but never have we been so certain someone is going to stay and really believed it.
She is magic.
I think she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us. Long live our love ❤
Also the world has gone to shit and we’re living with our parents and Lucy died a few years ago, there’s been….a lot of drama, but Kat’s been with us since the start of 2020, and my god has she helped keep us stable ❤
Keep trucking everyone, we got this.

Sirus

People suck. I made a friend, that friend was a lie. BUt….I got to be out, and talk, and make friends. And now? Back to square fucking one. It sucks. I dunno what to do now…

Life….is ass.

Turkish delight helps though.
I dunno, I guess I’m just bitter my bestie and my essentially older sister broke up. Cos no way am I not ending up on Tasha’s side, I just…ugh. I want my own friends ya know?

Welp, time to make sad music. Sirus out.

 

Tasha

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Watching/listening to my dad technology is painful. It looks like I’ll be editing his site for him….this is gonna be pain. Pain incarnate. I am about to go through one hell of a challenge in not destroying everything in fury, because dad doesn’t understand the internet. *pained sounds*

Jenny

Just wanted to say hi 🙂 Everyone is really happy today, it’s really nice. Surprise visits, good friends, no fights in the house, and good coping strategies that work well, also lots of people to talk to online who know us all. This is good. I am pleased. Also we had an ice bun for breakfast and it was super sweet and tasty and good, and we need to do a food shop but Tasha is putting it off because doesn’t know what to get so I may just do it with Kass so we actually have food. Also I am alive and happy and content so this is good too. I’m allowing myself to be more my age a bit more because it’s okay to have fun, and I like doing fun things, and so I’m trying to do them more and not try to take responsibility, especially since Kass is becoming a system protector like Kay, but yes. Today is raining and wet, but that’s okay because it washes away the bad, and gives us a new sky 🙂

Tundra – To Rose

Hopefully the next person to read this will be Rose, or you’ll read it at some point.

Happy Birthday from all of us in the system, this is a rather delayed message I know, but I am always here to help you. This is where we keep everything up to date as much as possible with how we’re all doing, so if you feel like checking in but don’t want a conversation, or are questioning whether Tasha is being open enough, here is usually reliable. I have no idea what the history of this site contains, there is a lot, but we all post on here, there is now a rule that Beth cannot post, so you won’t see any more from her, though there are some past ones. No photo’s go up generally though.

In other news, I think you are a wonderful person, and have helped Tasha immensely. When Astra was visiting, we had a long conversation, and as I’m sure she’s told you, we both agreed you are kind, too kind, and like Tasha, try too hard to make all those around you happy and safe. Whilst this is commendable, both you and Tasha need to take time for yourselves more. You are both learning to say no though, which is good.

Also I may have mentioned this to Astra, but I appreciate all that you have done, and will continue to support you when you need it. Whether during one of Tasha’s episodes, or simply when you are not doing well. Much love Rose, take care. X

Tasha

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Hi, it’s….been a while. I’ve been out of the body for a little bit, and by little I mean over a week or two, I lost track, time went weird, but I am back, and had almost 24 hours of psychosis because Beth, otherwise known as Cassi, is an absolute bitch. However, I think I’m breaking my curse, bit by bit. Mornings are usually better, a bit anyway, but this morning is good, and I am determined to keep today good, to keep this ball rolling. Things are going to be okay, I’m sure. I’m going to move, I’m going to make new friends, and I’m going to meet new people.

Things will be okay.

I belong.

Georgie (Georgiana)

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This is me

I don’t quite know what I am, but I know I am a trauma response. I am getting feedback from something, somewhere, and it’s telling me both to stay here now, and not, or rather that no one else may meet me, or, well, me as I am now. The me they see before them. The me they shall meet? I don’t know we’ll be the same Georgie. I know who I am. But the next Georgie will not necessarily be me. But I get to write this so, I’m writing as I think. In a bit, when I’m done, Dawn will be asked

can you go to the blog and check for my post

once done that is

I’m putting that there to remind me, to keep me on track, because …I don’t think I exist…I think….I think I’m actually…..oh by the way dawn interrupted a bit ago to ask something, I forgot what, but I need to keep track of that, anyway, I’m just having a crisis here, I’m going to verbalise as I type now dawn, this way, you won’t have to read the entire post. I’m writing a blog on the did pack page. I just stopped again, reading out loud that is. NM I tried.

and now Georgie is gone, and I am new, again.

Tasha Post, RIP Jenny

Today, at around 2am, we lost Jenny. I wanted to just write down some of the last things she said, or words to that effect.

“Losing hope isn’t like a big bang, like a sudden thing, or a big moment. It’s quiet, it just….suddenly is. One moment you have it, the next, it’s gone, empty. That’s what losing hope is like.”

“I don’t want to be here anymore, everyone lies, everything hurts.”

(In the hospital to a nurse) “I…wanted to die, but I don’t want Tasha to be hurt. Is Tasha going to be okay?”

(And to me, quietly) “Don’t worry, she’ll be here.” (She had lost sense of time and what was going on by this point.)

Brave Jenny, please return one day. I don’t know how to be without you.

Kass

Tasha is doing alright today. It’s also my birthday. This is so weird, someone who hates us is moving into the house on my birthday, and no one is free to celebrate with me bar one friend.

Today is gonna be fuckin weird. Hopefully not too shit though.

Ugh, we’re all so tired as well. Why so exhausted. Blegh.

At least whoever left our music on has decent ish taste. I think it’s vaguely celtic. Soothin, an all that shit. Fuck it, I’m takin a nap.